The internet is trying to set me up with Christian men who own rooster-shaped lamps.
I got a story about two little maggots. You know, little worms. They were sitting on the handle of a shovel. The shovel was in a workshop, and early in the morning, a workman came, put the shovel on his shoulder, and started down the street to work.
Well, the two little maggots held on as long as they could, but finally they jiggled off, and one fell down into a crack in the sidewalk, and the next fell off onto the curb. And from the curb, he fell into a cat. A very dead cat.
Well the second maggot just started in eating. And he ate and he ate and he ate for three days. He couldn’t eat anymore. He finally said, “*Yawn* I think I’ll go hunt up my brother.”
And the second maggot humped himself up over the curb, humped along the sidewalk, came to the crack. He leaned and said, “Hello! You down there, brother?”
"Yes, I’m down here all right! I’ve been here for three days without a bite to eat or a drop to drink. I’m nearly starved to death! But you… you’re so sleek and fat. To what do you attribute your success?"
"Brains and personality brother, brains and personality."